Hello Friends!!!!

So sorry, but for a while I wasn't able to log on here! I have created a new blog, and I would love for anyone to stop by, comment, catch up! You can find me at:

http://elevenbirdies.blogspot.com

I have missed you! 

Thanks!!!

Kali

Serenity

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

I love this prayer. I know we have all seen some cheesey wall hanging with aforementioned prayer. But for "super worriers", for "why askers", for those in the valleys or the bottom of the mountain, this prayer can bring some peace. I wrestle with acceptance every day. We all have those things we can not change. Those un-changeables wake up next to us in bed. They cut you off in traffic. They treat us like they hate us. Those un-changeables keep coming in the mail. They haunt us. In the bath tub, or in the garden, thoughts of the un-changeables can bring you to tears. Sometimes those un-changeables make us feel badly about ourselves, or our lives. At worst, they cause us to get angry at God. We can ask God "why me?" all day long. We can worry until our stomachs hurt. We can cry in the tub until our eyeballs ache. We can get as angry as we want to. It doesn't change the un-changeables. It does no good. It is energy wasted. Energy that could be spent changing the things we can.

Lately, I have had to stop the belly aching and ask myself, "What can I change?" I have had to change the thoughts in my head. I have had to change my reactions and responses. I have had to change my routine. I have had to change what I read before bed...put the shelter magazines down and open my Bible. I have to do whatever I can. Sometimes when I think of him and start to worry myself sick, I have to ask God to take the thoughts- because I can't change this. When I think of those moments that I may never have again and my eyes well up with tears, I have to start telling God what I am thankful for. When the fear of what will be feels all-consuming, I have to remind myself that I was not created to have a spirit of fear. When I feel tempted to make those same stupid choices that always ended in painful situations, I have to remind myself that just because it isn't familiar doesn't mean that it won't be amazing. Its the "wisdom to know the difference part" that can be most tricky. I like to think I have way more control than I actually do. If there is anything that I should have learned from 2008, it should be just how much control I don't have! The serenity prayer does in fact bring serenity- and serenity can be so hard to achieve. It just takes some time and willingness.

Yesterday I asked my good friend Emily how I should get my hair done. I didn't ask just to get her opinion, I really wanted someone to tell me how to get it done. I caught myself, and told her this was an opportunity for me to decide something for myself. I am indecisive. Ridiculously indecisive. I can change that. I can start with a hair cut.

I guess what I am after here, is that it is okay to look at the world around us and see all the changes we want to take place. But what I have found most liberating, is looking inward and asking, "What can I change about myself?" At first it feels like compromising...why should I have to change? Eventually, it feels like the best thing to do. The only real change that can be created. And you know what? It is okay to change what you allow in your life. It is okay to change something that has helped you achieve ultimate "people pleaser" status. It is okay to change your partner. It is okay to change patterns and routines. It is okay to change your trusty shade of lipstick. It is okay to change your wardrobe. It is okay to change your diet. It is okay to change your thoughts. And most of all, it is okay to just say, "I can't change this," and ask God for help.

Serenity. I pray serenity for your life. Peace and serenity.

a year of beautification!

school starts up again on january 20th. and i went a did something absolutely nuts. i always wondered if i might be crazy. the closer the spring semester gets, the more i am sure of it! i signed up for a class to train for a 10k run. i know!!! what in the world was i thinking? among those loose screws, i was hoping to find a way to force myself to change my lifestyle. i do chase a super fast crawler. i re-arrange furniture. i haul laundry all over the house. i scrub toilets. but other than that, i live a pretty sedentary lifestyle. i used to run in high school (didn't we all?) and i really enjoyed it. i am hoping with my new healthy lifestyle, there might come a new healthy figure- but that's not my top priority. i need to make time to exercise! i have made a serious effort to be mindful of my eating- what, how much, how often, and why...and so far this year i have lost 3 pounds! (only about 27 more to go! lol) also, i signed up for a "weightlifting for women" class. i am excited about both of my classes! i will have to track my weight loss on a side bar or something...maybe even pictures. accountability is a good thing!

what does all of this mean? this means i have 15 days to tackle home projects!!! today i hung a chandelier in my dining room. i have soooo much more to do. for my birthday my good friend Emily gave me one of these:

these little notebooks are comprised of lined paper and also recycled vintage papers. the front cover of mine has a vintage ad for dishes! i am going in every room of my home and making my infamous lists in my new handy dandy notebook! (you can check out her store blog here.)

my sweet mamma bought me the kitchen aid mixer for Christmas!!! woohoo! i love love love it and have wanted one for a long time. my friend krysta and i used to joke that you had to get married to get one of those, and that if neither of us were married in five years we would purchase one for each other...turns out you don't have to get married.

so for me, 2009 is going to be "a year of beautification"- of my home and myself. i'm not talking get back into those skinny jeans beauty, i'm talking that deep, everlasting beauty that comes from the inside out. that kind God talks about in His word. as for my home, there are so many long overdue projects. its time to practice some self discipline and get things done around here!!!

so much hope for 2009...