a monkey and a cow in my bed

Have you ever seen such a cute cow before? There is even a cute little cow tail in the back! And boy howdy, she knew she was cute too! Oh, and then there was the monkey. You should have seen the monkey. You might have recognized her from this post. I have always loved Halloween. But anymore, Halloween has become bittersweet. Halloween means Brookie's birthday is right around the corner. My baby isn't so much a baby. There is just something about turning five. She is officially no longer a baby, and I can't even cling to "toddler" anymore. She will be starting Kindergarten next year. She is so stinkin smart and we have real conversations. Great conversations. Today she helped me pick out a dress for Gregg's funeral, even buttoned the back of one for me. She walked up sidewalks to scary houses and didn't even need me to go with her. After I told her for like the sixth time to make sure she said thank you, she stopped, looked at me, and said, "Mom, you can stop saying that. You don't have to tell me every time." Oh. Okay. You can walk up sidewalks to scary porches while I look on. You can say "trick-or-treat" all by yourself, and remember your manners all by yourself. You can carry your bucket and tell others "Happy Halloween!" with such sincere enthusiasm. You can tell perfect strangers how cute their little baby lady bug is. You.are.a.big.girl...
My heart was a little sad this Halloween. My family hurts right now. My father passed away this week. I was excited to take the girls trick-or-treating. (Despite the fact that I had forgotten my sneakers to change into, and Charlie's stroller. So I had to walk in heels/barefoot, carrying my roly poly cow, for like...a mile. :)
I was wishing that I had someone to experience this with. I was wishing that I had someone to get excited with me, to help me, to look on at what a big girl my Brooklyn has become. But only for a moment, and then Brooklyn slipped her little hand in mine and said, "Mama, I wanna go home." We got home and Brooklyn dumped all her candy in our family candy bowl. Then she asked if I wanted some. I'm telling you, I have the most amazing daughters. I told Brooklyn to brush her teeth and get ready for bed. She said, "I wanna sleep with you, mom. I just wanna snuggle you."
Of course she can sleep with me. Because although she is almost five, she still wants her mama at the end of the day. She's not that big. Well, not yet. I am trying to savor every moment. My first five years of motherhood have taught me so much. I have never been more in love. Brooklyn is so beautiful, so sweet hearted, so loving and kind and happy. Someone today said, "Brooklyn, you are just so happy every time I see you! Are you always this happy?" Yep. That's her. She brings joy to everyone she meets. She is the best big sister, and she helps me take care of Charlotte every single day. God knows I am so proud of her. And today, when she helped me button the back of my dress, I had this moment of realization. Brooklyn is my best friend. What the three of us have is something very very special. My daughters are the ultimate God Gifts. It just doesn't get much better then this.
Tomorrow is the funeral. I'm gearing up for what I know will be a very emotional day. And while endings are always sad, I'm so glad that he isn't in pain anymore, and I intend to celebrate him. Beauty from ashes, faith from fear, gladness from mourning, peace from despair. I think I am starting to feel some of that peace I have been praying for.
My monkey and my little cow are asleep. I think I am going to go snuggle them for awhile. There is no place in the whole world I'd rather be.

God is so good.

the white side of the right bed

I still can't find the battery charger for my camera, but I figured out how to send my email pictures from my new phone, so they will have to do for now!

I have been wanting a metal or iron headboard for quite some time. I already had a pretty curvy dresser with mirror, and matching night stands, so I needed a headboard. I considered making my own, was never really thrilled with any wooden headboard I found. I'm not so much about things matching, but I didn't want to bring in another type of furniture that wouldn't really compliment the pieces I already had. (Sorry if I am losing you, this is my decorator brain talking :o)

You would think a metal/iron headboard would be easy enough to come by. I was having a terrible time finding one. If I found an antique/vintage one, it was too small for my queen mattresses. I found few new ones that I kinda liked, but most were out of my price range. I was able to find a few online, but its always tricky purchasing things like that online. I couldn't find much on ebay, if there was one I liked it was most definitely located in California or Maine. All my goodwill/dav/thrift store trips turned up nothing. I had pretty much given up on this endeavor, when I happened across this:

Now, you can imagine my excitement! Could it be? Did I finally find...the one? What's this you say? A foot board to match?? for all of $29.97? SOLD!!! In this picture it looks like its a pretty brown color, like so many you see in other blogs and magazines. It was actually a hunter green faux marble type design. I was left with no choice. A few cans of spray paint later:

Isn't it lovely? I can't wait to share some detailed shots. It looks short here because I just used a bed frame to hold up for painting, so this isn't the right bed frame. I was out painting in the sun, which is therapeutic in some strange way. It wasn't long before Austin and Brooklyn came out to help. At least he brought a radio. My job was to point out all the spots he missed. :o) I had a vision when I first saw this bed, but its even prettier than I imagined. I love it when things like this happen...another God gift! I think I need a label for God gifts. I see mounds of soft, lacy, white pillows and soft, warm covers you can just get lost in. I can't wait until it all comes together! Maybe a beautiful Christmas wreath at the foot of the bed...in all whites... (I admit, I'm already dreaming of decorating for Christmas. I'm okay, really. Just keep me away from the beautiful Christmas isles at Hobby Lobby!)

I have so much to share, I'm so behind!

To my dear Beverly, I just saw your comment on my last post. I'm headed for bed now, but I will be in touch soon!

flea queen to the core

The local monthly flea market was today. No spectacular finds to share...but I bought a box of baby/doll clothes for $5 which had some very pretty items. For some reason its really hard for me to resist these dainties. I have too many. I think I will sell a lot of them on ebay. What do you all have a hard time resisting?

My irresistible list:

vintage dresses

vintage baby and dolly clothes

anything blue or green

chippy little cabinets

antique/vintage jewelry

antique/vintage baby items

Lately I am trying to avoid buying small stuff. I am trying to look for functional items, or architectural pieces. Right now I am loving old wire locker baskets and old mirrors. I saw a few today, but not "single mom" priced. :o)

I want my home to be very, very, uncluttered. My decorating style really falls into several...um...categories, I guess you could say. But most of all, I don't like clutter. I have noticed that my eye is drawn to more masculine type pieces, which is strange. My eye used to land on curvy pieces, romantic pieces, pinks and whites, florals, and the like. Now I am falling for worn rusty patinas, clean lines, practicality and usefulness, always anything white, worn fabrics in faded colors, even hardware and metals. To be honest with you, my mind is always racing with colors and ideas and wishes and placement and vignettes. In my mind, I have decorated and redecorated most rooms in my house at least five times since I have lived here. I have been a little surprised at this decorator in me. My mom was always very practical and our home was always nice, but she wasn't a collector of paint chips and fabric swatches, nor a flea queen or thrift store regular. Its sorda strange to have something that is all my own, that I discovered about myself, that just happened upon me out of left field. I think we twenty-somethings need these types of things- pieces of our identity that came completely from within. And maybe its slightly a creativity/control thing. I might be the type of person that needs a creative outlet, and needs to control her immediate surroundings because she feels her life is so beyond her own control. Whatever the root of my love of home and decorating and color and vintage, I'm loving building my home, with love and careful selection, and two pretty little girls in tow.

I'm hoping to share some pictures tomorrow. I have so many beautiful finds to catch you all up on. And a bathroom...a clean, crisp, white and...gray bathroom to share.

five days for five years

Brooklyn will be five in less than a month!!! And this birthday is monumental in more ways then one....oooh I am brimming with excitement!!!!

On her birthday, Mickey Mouse is going to be giving her a call. He is going to let her know that she gets to go to WALT DISNEY WORLD!!!!!!!

We are going in December, and I am so very excited! I have been to Disney Land twice but never Disney world. I graciously welcome any advice/tips/ideas you all might have.

I wanted to share this advice for any other parents on a tight budget who might be stopping by.

Okay, I have been wanting to take Brooklyn to Walt Disney World for a long time. It can be very expensive, but it can also be really affordable. First, I recommend going to the website and signing up using your email. You won't receive a bunch of unwanted messages, and you will receive emails of when they have special deals going on. A while back I received an email of their discounted rates during certain dates of the winter season. Also, I found this website very helpful: www.mousesavers.com -its worth stopping by. The advertised deal was for five days, four nights at a Disney resort, theme park tickets for all five days, and free dining for two adults, one junior, and one child for $1253.00. (Free dining isn't exactly free dining...you receive vouchers for each person. The website above explains clearly.) When you can, and if you don't have three football players going, it is a good idea to get free dining. I have heard that food, even bottled water, is VERY expensive. I thought five days was plenty for a five year old girl, and especially during Christmas time!!! I have heard that Disney does an incredible, magical Christmas celebration. So, because we are two adults, one child and one baby, our trip was even less expensive. We got the four nights/five days in an upgraded room, five days of theme park tickets, free dining/transportation to and from airport, for barely over $1000. The only additional costs will be flights and any extras. A vacation for four, for under $2000 can be tough to do. Its doable, but you have to be patient. You have to search around for the deals, they don't really advertise the best deals. Hopefully somebody finds this helpful!

Got to go get ready for church...

Happy Sunday!!!

Everything matters, and everything counts. Going through this time has made realize this truth. Our life is a record kept of our souls, in a way. And perfection is not what I think we are supposed to strive for. I'm starting to see that we should all be spreading goodness. Goodness is what I strive for. Perfection is long gone around here, let me tell ya. But from all of my mistakes has come a whole lot of goodness.


While I was visiting Gregg, my old brother was visiting too. I wanted to bring him some lunch. I went through subway's drive-thru, and the girl working was...um...kinda mean. Anyone who knows me well, knows that I have a very hard time being assertive. I will eat an undercooked steak rather than send it back. I will drink the wrong pop rather than ask for the diet I ordered. If I hear you coming with your shopping cart and I feel like I might be in your way, I will move on to another isle. But when that drive-thru girl was so rude to me, I had to remind myself that I love the Lord and that means I should love her too. You know what? I didn't need that on that day. I was competely taken aback by her ability to be so rude to me and for no good reason!! Just as I was about to excersize my very weak assertive muscle, I stopped and I looked at her. She looked like a miserable person. The way she carried herself, the way she spoke, the expression on her face...and I said nothing. By the time she brought my drink to the window, I apologized and said that I misunderstood her. Her response, as you can imagine, was still rude. I smiled as I drove off. I did what I could do, and I spread a little goodness. And the record for that day was improved upon. If I ever work in a drive-thru, I am going to treat every customer like they might be buying a sandwich for their brother, so that they can spend the afternoon taking care of their dying father. Because the truth is, none of know what the people we encounter are going through.
Time to shift in thought here. I have found some lovely items lately. I read this post of a fellow blogger and I was smitten. Here is one picture:

Do you see those vintage tutus? OH.MY.GRACIOUS! I saw these and I just knew I had to get one for Brooklyn's room! She is, afterall, my little dancer! I searched ebay on a regular basis, to no avail. I even looked on etsy. No luck. Then after I took a load of goodies to my booth, I thought I would just take a look around. (By the way, if you love vintage items and antiques, don't get a booth at a mall. You could easily spend the money you make on more lovelies.) I searched the rows, and I couldn't find a single thing I just had to have. I nearly passed a tiny booth filled to the brim when some I saw some tule from the corner of my eye. Would you believe that I found a vintage dress/costume/almost tutu, in Brooklyn's favorite purple, and for $10!!!!! That was a God gift. (That is what I call it when you find something extra special that you have been wanting, at a great price, just sorda out of the blue.) It will be perfect in her room!

So many things to share...I will be back soon!

i got the blues...

Oh.my.gracious...

I am in need of a time of peace, and rest. Desperate need.

Gregg's health is declining rapidly. Today funeral arrangements were made. My older brother is taking care of most of this kind of yucky stuff. I have spent some time with Gregg and that has been good. We even played checkers. I can't imagine what it must be like, to be able to see the end of the ride.

On to brighter things. I really haven't had much extra time to do anything. My poor home is suffering for my schedule. My mom and I managed to go to a couple of sales this morning, and I found some neat stuff. I studied and studied for an algebra test, and I did very well! That is always exciting. Brooklyn and Charlotte are just growing like flowers. Charlie claps now and it is so cute! It's October! I love October!!! To think, I would have been getting married in nine days...

The truth is, all of this stuff is hitting me pretty hard. I'm just having a rough time right now. My Internet is fixed, and I promise a more cheerful post, with pictures, in the very near future. Just need a little time...