No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us. And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God's love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow- not even the powers of hell can separate us from God's love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below- indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

(ROMANS 8:37-39)

It is nearly a miracle, but I finished a book!!! It has been a long time since I have finished a book. It would be safe to say, I used to have some trouble finishing things. Lately though, I have been. (I highly recommend the book Nurture by Lisa Bevere.) I am nearly finished with the semester! Woohoo!!!! It feels so good to be moving towards something. Speaking of moving- if there were baby crawling races, I would bet large sums of money on my Charlie Girl! This girl is so super fast, you can't take your eyes off her for even a moment. She can't be contained, she is so determined. On Thanksgiving day she started saying "thank you" and it is so cute! It more sounds like "dank ew". I am planning to take the girls downtown to take some unique photos, I will be sure to share them. I have so many house pics to share too. Oh, and the thrifting finds...I'm going to have a huge post in store.

Wishing you all a lovely day...

we three girlies

Thanksgiving Recipe...for disaster!!!!

Its the Holiday season. I love this time of year. I'm wishing it would slow down some. One of our local radio stations was playing Christmas music, all the time, in the second week of November. I love love love Christmas music. But I really liked the anticipation of the day after Thanksgiving, when it normally began. Unfortunately, as hard as I am trying, I'm not feeling all that excited about Thanksgiving. What is wrong with me? Of course, I do have a unique family situation which affords me FOUR different Thanksgiving dinners to choose from. Call me silly, but I like Thanksgiving in the movies. Everything is better in the movies. But you know how movies about Thanksgiving or Christmas with big jumbled up-but-loving families always leave you with this warm feeling...that is what I wished our family celebrations were like. I have always yearned for that sense of family. I think it was my junior year of high school, I didn't live at home. But for one day, which wasn't actually Thanksgiving, I went home. I baked my very first turkey, made my first mashed potatoes, and I can't remember what else...maybe green beans. My mom had to help me some. My mom always worked really hard, and she had to drive an hour each way to work. She usually wouldn't get home until around 6:30 (or later if there was a meeting) and no sooner then she kicked her heels off she was in the kitchen making dinner. Her dinners were always so good, but she didn't teach me a darn thing about cooking! (I read other blogs of mothers or grandmothers cooking with their girlies, and I wish I could tell those girlies how very lucky they are, and to cherish that time.) I don't know where or when I decided I wanted to start cooking, but I began with that Thanksgiving. My turkey was dry, it looked terrible! I have a picture some where...
I tried again for Brooklyn's first Thanksgiving. It was a DISASTER! So many things went wrong that day. It was a small gathering of 8 plus a few kiddos. I, for some strange reason, didn't know that you had to take a 12 pound turkey out of the freezer days in advance for it to thaw out. There was no way I was getting that bird thawed out and cooked in time! I called my dad in a panic, he said I could bake a big turkey breast. (he was already smoking a ham, thank goodness!) I tried to make this homemade stuffing from Real Simple magazine, and folks, nothing about it was real simple!!!! It was a mushy mess. The mashed potatoes were good, (seriously, how can one mess those up?) but there was no gravy. (I was planning on making giblet gravy from my turkey.) I made a chocolate pecan pie, it was yummy. The worst part, oh my goodness, I didn't have enough silverware for everyone!!! It was soooooo embarrassing! I waited to eat, and when some people finished I would wash their silverware for someone else to use. I didn't have enough cups either. Somehow, I didn't even think of that. The house looked pretty, it was great company and great pie. But the rest was a disaster that we all laugh about now. Needless to say, my grandma bought me a nice set of silverware for the following Christmas! And the next year's dinner was so much better, I pretty much redeemed myself. But I will never ever forget my first Thanksgiving dinner cooking for family.

For any of you girls flew the coop way to early, or had mothers who hated to cook, or just never took the time to learn, here are a few pointers should you be interested in making a Thanksgiving dinner:

1. The turkey MUST be taken out of the freezer DAYS in advance. The number of days depends on the weight of the turkey. There should be directions on the packaging, but worst case scenario- google it.

2. Just because a recipe comes from Real Simple magazine, it doesn't mean it is going to be real simple...and the pre-packaged stuffing is pretty darn good. Anytime you are making stuffing from scratch the first time, buy a box/package of stuffing too. It is cheap, and you might need it!

3. ALWAYS consider the NUMBER OF GUESTS who will be attending. Make sure you have enough flatware/silverware for them to eat with, and enough glasses/cups for them to drink from. Its incredibly embarrassing if you don't.

4. Don't be so wrapped up in the kitchen that you don't enjoy the holiday. Ask people to bring things...side dishes, pies, rolls, etc...it alleviates a lot of stress and I think the best family meals are the ones where everyone contributes!

5. Should you have a disastrous attempt (or a few) at making a holiday dinner, it will be okay. You may be humbled for the moment, but it will be something that you look back on fondly. I promise.

I have come a long way since my junior year of high school. I am definitely a way better cook. Brooklyn says, "Mom, yorda best cooker in the whole wide world!" This Thanksgiving, we may just stay home, get out the Christmas decorations/trees, and make a big pot of vegetable beef stew. While its bubbling, we might make a gratitude banner, praising God for all the beautiful blessings we have. Or maybe we will drive all over to make appearances at as many of the Thanksgiving dinners that we can. We'll see. No matter what the day holds, I will have so much to be thankful for. And there will be Christmas music, for sure!

We wish you a very happy, joy-is-a-full-tummy, warm, family filled Thanksgiving! May your turkey be thawed in time, your silverware be bountiful, your home full of laughter, your hearts full of gratitude!

I know I am thankful for you.

24

My birthday is in a few days, and I am a little excited! Okay, maybe a lot excited. I am not really sure why. Birthdays for me are like the "new year" for everyone else. I look back on the year, and forward to the next one, and I feel so excited for what could be!

I feel God all around me. Its funny, because a new devotional I started talked about the burning bush. And in the prayer prompt it said to ask God to reveal himself to you in all new ways, in ways He never has before. I felt almost selfish, as I have been asking God for so much these days. But then it occurred to me, what if He is just waiting for me to want to experience Him in ways He has yet to show me? What if He is just waiting to give me one hundred more ways to fall in love with Him? So I asked, and I feel Him. Its remarkable how content and complete I feel. It is so nice to be in the place where you feel like nothing is missing. I wish I could explain it better, because I know so many people don't understand. But when you love God, and try to live for God (try being the imperative word there :o) He is just always there. Every minute, every second, every situation and every circumstance, He is there. When you start noticing Him, when you start feeling Him all around you, when you start experiencing what its like to have a relationship with the Lord...well, its far better than you can ever imagine. Just fyi.

(side note: although I am very open about my faith, I feel like our faith belongs to us. Everyone has a right to their own, and it is a very personal and intimate part of our lives. I have never really felt compelled to...um...witness, per se. My life is certainly not the pretty Christian walk that I was told I should follow. So I can't even say that I lead by example. All I can be sure of is that God saves me every single day. He is something that I can always count on, absolutely, no matter what. He fills a place inside of me that can not be filled in any other way. From time to time, it just bubbles over. Like in this post. Its bubbling. I wish Christianity could shed its stereotypes, that it wasn't synonymous with Religion. I wish the Bible wasn't used to hurt people or to build walls or manipulate hearts. I wish there was a way to share without worrying that I am offending anyone. If there was a way to cure cancer and I knew it, I would tell the world. So if God has saved me, and He is the reason I am even still alive- its safe to say I will always be glad to share with anyone who will listen. There is only one stipulation- leave all your stereotypes and preconceived notions at the door. Because nothing about me, or my life, or my God, fits into any box. I'm just saying...so apparently this is a rather long side note. But That's all folks!!!)

I hope you all have a lovely weekend!!!

the next five years...

My daughter is five years old. People don't understand my sadness. I am happy too. I am most excited about making the next five years even more amazing than the last five! I am writing her a letter for her to open on her fifteenth birthday. I don't like thinking about fifteen.
Life has been hard lately. So instead of a post of sadness and fears, I am going to claim some things for my life. Right here. Right now.
God has given me a gift. He has given me this eye for seeing the world. When I see something, I am bombarded with details and lines and fragments and collections and colors. When I see faces I see distinguishing characteristics. I'll forget your name tomorrow but I will never forget a face. Oh, and hands. I love hands. I love smiles and eyes and cheek bones and jaw bones. I love the curves of a woman and the rigid lines of a mans shoulders. I love irregularities and uniqueness. I think all types of woman are beautiful, even sexy. I can't think of many things more beautiful than a pregnant woman with stretch marks or a man holding his newborn baby. And children...by far my favorite form of art. Before your very eyes they are growing. Everything about them is genuine. When I see people, I see artwork. Fine artwork. God's artwork. With or without a camera, I am constantly taking pictures. I am memorizing frames of what I see. There are so many incredible images I want to capture. They are all around me. The thought of using my gift to give others a picture of all the beauty I see when I see them, that thrills me. God has given me a gift indeed, and I think He wants me to bless people with it. "It is time," I hear him say..."It is time to start moving."
Now there are certainly many things I have to get in order before I dive head first into this dream of mine. You know, all of those ducks to get into a row. But I'm getting closer. And I believe. God won't let this go away. Please allow me to dream for a moment, and dream big. It refreshes me during a time when everything seems impossible.
I am going to become a photographer. The real deal. I am going to make money doing what I love, what I am passionate about. Not only will I do this, but I will be good at it. I will translate through photography the way God has created me to see beauty all around me. My photos will be unique, lovely, breathtaking, beautiful translations. I will take chances. I will try hard. I will never stop believing. Someday I will be successful.
When I am, I am going to buy a home in the country. It will be in some small town. I am going to buy Brooklyn a horse. I am going to grow her some corn. I am going to have a big beautiful garden and a home where everyone feels welcome and anyone can escape to. I am going to have a big porch and lots of trees. I am going to invite friends and family and neighbors over to dance under the stars and laugh til it hurts. And I am going to give back. Should I ever have a little money to my name, I will never lose sight of where I came from. I will never be so foolish to believe that it could all go away in an instant, or that it was ever my money in the first place. And some day, I will help a struggling young mother. I promise. I make this promise to my daughters. And when I am in that position, I will point to God. I will tell the story of my mother, and my grandmother, and how it was because of them that I made it through. Then I will make some pie and coffee and we will talk about her dreams. I will believe in her. I will never stop believing in her.
And maybe someday I will sit on the porch with him. He and I will look out at the beautiful trees, and then at the home we worked so hard on. We won't really need to say much. We will just sit and sip and smile. We will live completely in that moment. Then I will follow him up the beautiful old staircase to our room. We will crawl into our bed. I will thank the Lord for my husband. I will look at him and know what it feels like to be loved and admired, the way God intended for me all along. My heart will overflow with this feeling of what it must feel like to be wrapped up in the arms of the man God picked for me, the man who has promised his life to me, the man who protects my heart and the hearts of my daughters. For the first time in my life, I will know what it feels like to trust a man, to be loved by a man as God's word commands him to. I will know what it feels like to make love to my husband. And I will look back at this time in my life, and think, "Oh Darlin, if you only knew..."
So I am going to become a successful photographer. (By successful I mean one that can pay the bills and save a little, and still afford to thrift shop/garage sale/flea market. lol :o) I am going to buy a home for myself and my daughters. I am going to be married someday, years from now. I am going to help others and bless others and change lives. I am going to walk closely with the Lord forever and ever. That is what I dream of. I am going to give my daughter her letter when she is fifteen, and she is going to be a happy, healthy, Christian girl. She won't be living on her own, caught up with some boy, struggling through trying to decide what it means to be loved or to love herself. She is going to be beautiful. She is going to be forced to spend Sundays with me. She is going to think I am overbearing and too strict from time to time. She will be learning to drive. She will know how to bake pies and play an instrument. She will have her own camera. She will have her horse. Maybe she will play sports, or dance and sing. She won't have a boyfriend...since she will have another year to wait for dating...in groups. She will be figuring a lot of things out. But all the while, she will know that she is loved and adored and cherished by her mother. She will know I am absolutely proud of her, every single minute, no matter what. She will know that she is worthy because she is a daughter of the King. And that no matter where she finds herself, He will always be there to rescue her, to protect her, to save her, to love her. These are my dreams. I believe in them. I am asking God for them. Ask, and you shall receive, right?
I'm excited for what is in store. I am excited to wake my baby girl up with one big happy birthday. I love birthdays.
I think I might go sneak one of the cookies I made for her class treats tomorrow...shhhh...