a new year around the corner!

My Dear Friends and Family,
First and foremost, I want to thank you all for your support throughout this last year. I absolutely mean it when I say I couldn't have made it without you. This has been a tough year, but I like to think of it as a "refining" process. I started this blog on January first, so my blog birthday is coming up! Where does the time go? It just flies right on by...
Times are hard everywhere, yet people are stronger than ever. I think these hard times can bring out the best in us, if we allow. I know God brings all things together for good. He promised, after all. I read somewhere lately, I think in one of Brooklyn's books, that the same God who fashioned the stars chose me, created me, loves me. I must have heard this a hundred times. But as I sat for the fourth hour in the backseat, holding my Brooklyn curled up asleep in my lap, I leaned my head on the window. I dared to look up at the brightest stars and remind myself that the same God that created the stars, created me. I smiled.
He created you, too. Pretty cool, if you ask me.
On January 1, 2009, you will notice some changes to my blog. I will omit some things, change some things, and go in a new direction. I'm thinking a more fun, light hearted, joyful, bright and balanced direction...for myself and for my blog. It is time for a new year. There is so much to look forward to! I know that 2009 is going to be far greater than I could have ever imagined it to be!
Thank you all, once again, for all your support, encouragement, advice, and love. I am so lucky to have you all in my life. I thank God for you. I thank God for fresh starts, new beginnings, clean slates, mercy and grace everlasting. I even thank Him for the refining process.

I will see you back here, next year!

Love Always,
kali

maybe its the fumes from cleaning products...

I should be in bed, but I stayed up late to watch sex in the city. I love all things New York City. I also love sisterhood. Some women have best friends, friends they have known since fourth grade, and I envy that. Honestly, I stink at intimate relationships with women. That's something I have been praying about.

My hands hurt from cleaning all day. I still have more to do. But it feels good to get some things accomplished, and to see things come together. I will be at it again tomorrow!

One of my all time favorite books is Captivating by John and Stacie (Stasi?) Eldridge. Anyway, it talks about the desires at the core of every woman, and one of those is to play a role in a grand adventure. Lately I have been wanting adventure, but the fun kind. I'm thinking I need to take a vacation! I used to go on one every year with my mom, she would let me tag along on her business trips. My all time favorite Christmas gift was a trip with my mom. No business, all fun. She took me to NYC and all we had to do was be together! It was amazing. I wouldn't have wanted to experience the city with anyone else. The Christmas displays were magical, all the store windows were works of art. It was cold, but not too cold, and we walked all over the place. It felt like we stuck out like a sore thumb, country girls in the big city. But you know, I think I could be a big city girl too. Maybe I'm a little of both- depending on the day.

That is what can be hard, having a baby while still so young. There are parts of yourself you have to learn about, things to discover, and having a baby doesn't speed that up. Instead, you are raising a little one and simultaneously figuring out who you are. I have moments when I wonder what it would be like to just take off and go...travel, experience, see and do. I think all mothers, no matter the age, wonder of that from time to time. I like being reminded that there is a whole big world out there, just waiting to be discovered. And even if it is just once a year with my mom, I get the chance to travel, experience, see and do.

So here's to future getaways, adventures, and sisterhood- all of which I can't wait to experience!

decking the halls!!!!

Christmas is fast approaching, and I do not have all my gifts purchased, and none of them wrapped! I know, its horrible!!!

Yesterday, my friend Brin posted about this quick, easy, inexpensive gift idea:

Brilliant! A no-knit scarf! I think its beautiful. If you go to Brin's blog (my absolute favorite blog in the whole wide world :o) you will find a link to Martha's instructions on how to make this pretty! Yesterday I made a trip to a locally owned yarn store Twist, bought a pretty bundle of dark grey yarn. I made two of these scarves while watching 48 hours mystery, so they really are a quick and easy project!

Folks, if you have a Hobby Lobby nearby- GO! I went to mine yesterday and everything that wasn't craft related (decor, mirrors, Christmas decorations, ornaments, frames, etc) was 50% off!!! I have been wanting some neutral stockings for my mantle, but I hadn't really find any at a good price. I found four stockings at half of, only $4.50 a piece! They had these big flashy sequins on them, so those had to come off. I tried to take a picture with my phone, very poor quality so I apologize, but you can see the before and after:

The one on the left still has its big gold sequins, I much prefer the simple quilted stocking on the right! I will have to take a picture of my mantle...

I am staying in all day. I have been cleaning and re-arranging and throwing out and Christmasing. I even ordered a pizza, not even for food will I leave this warm home on this bitter cold day. Charlie doesn't seem to mind. We'll be dancing to some Christmas music while I hurry about feathering this nest- a cup of peppermint mocha flavored coffee to drink. Tomorrow I will have to brave the cold and the procrastinators while I round up the last of my gifts. But today, today is for staying warm and enjoying home.

I hope you all are staying warm, and enjoying home.

tis better to give then to receive!!!

If santa still delivered presents to us big kids, these are the things I would ask him for! Its funny how, when someone asks what you want or need for Christmas you can never think of anything, but you sit down at the computer to do a little shopping and all kinds of things come to mind...

Here are a few items on my ever growing wish list. :o) Its just fun to imagine! (My mom is usually the only one who buys me anything for Christmas, and she really shouldn't- she does so much for me throughout the year.)

the complete series of gilmore girls! a great show for single mothers everywhere! several books, here are a few on my wish list:



i have wanted one of these bikes for a long time, can't decide if i want to go vintage or new...but it has to have a bell, white walls (or pink :o), high handle bars...

and of course, one of these on the front:
i recently smelled this perfume, of course they were out. but i loved it and i think santa might leave it in my stocking.

and then there is always one of my true loves, ANTHROPOLOGIE! the closest one is in kc, so i rarely get to go... and honestly the prices are way to high for me, but for the sake of dreaming...

i love love love this blue green dress!!
i have wanted a kitchen aid mixer for years! maybe i will pull a carrie, and register for "i'm single and not getting married!" gifts...(this one has the perfect amount of pink, and a portion of the proceeds go to breast cancer research)

and I will be needing some of these, because i'm going to take a weight lifting class, and maybe a cardio class, from my college in the spring. it is time my friends. it is time to start taking care of myself, and feeling healthy again!

it is fun to dream!

to everything there is a season...

I'm sorry its been so long! Life has been a little crazy. Always crazy...

I have been blogging for nearly a year now, and with the end of 2008 drawing near, I have come to a realization. 2008 has been the hardest year of my life. My mom actually pointed it out, while also pointing out my strength during this time.

1. February 1st: I lost my job of seven years just three weeks before Charlie was born. No severance pay. Just a department elimination. Unfortunately, Kansas unemployment doesn't exactly offer maternity leave. :o)

2. I had to come to terms with the reality that I was not in a healthy relationship. This is still an ongoing process, which has peppered the year with struggle and pain that was never really necessary.

3. I began very intensive therapy which was...very hard. Good therapy will never be easy. If it is, it isn't working. :o)

4. I made the choice to go back to school, which would turn out to be probably the worst possible time. :o)

5. I had to do the very grown up thing of having an adult conversation with my dad...about how I knew he wasn't my biological father. To date, the hardest conversation I have ever had. Lots of feelings attached to that truth, but for the first time ever in my life, my dad and I began an honest relationship.

6. I forced myself to accept that my father was dying. (my biological one) For the first time, I experienced true forgiveness. I forgave as I think God asks us to, but I drug my feet the whole way. During his final days, I held his hand, I read scripture to him, I even sang. I shed tears of a daughter losing her father. As he had stomach cancer and was unable to eat, he essentially had to starve to death. This is a very painful process, which can take weeks- especially when the rest of the body is so healthy. For the first time, I begged for heaven. Something about heaven made sense in my mind. He finally got to go this last October. May he rest in peace...

7. I trudged through the semester. Is that a word- trudged? I can't be sure. I finished strong!

8. In all my years being on my own, financially this has been by far the most difficult.

9. Most recently, Austin is undergoing inpatient treatment for addiction to opiates. I did not know what was going on, although now so many things make sense.

10. I have discovered my own burning desire to create the life I want, for myself and my daughters. I have discovered that I really want to parent with intention. I have adopted an "addition-subtraction" policy. (If you add to our lives, you are welcome. If you take away, then you just can't be a part of our picture.) I have started to finish things. I have discovered that I am much stronger than I ever gave myself credit for. I have discovered that I am passionate about helping people- for the longest time I couldn't figure out what I was passionate about, if anything. I have watched as my firstborn learned to write her name all by herself. I have felt empty, and yet found more to give. I have found contentment in being a single mother. I have come face to face with my faults and shortcomings, and I am learning to accept and change what I can. Most importantly, I have been forced to run to God- let go, surrender, trust, believe, grow, and love. He and I have something special.

For the first time, I have started to believe that there really are no limitations. (thanks, dad :o)

My world is growing. My dreams and passions are growing. My daughters are growing. My faith is growing. My relationship with God is growing. Gone are the stagnant days of pain and struggle. This is a time for growth. I can't be sure how I arrived here, or that I could have without all the difficulty this year has held. But I praise God for the pain and struggle. Strangely enough, it was like the fast-track to getting to where I needed to be so that I could start changing the world. So that I could begin to live. So that I could start to become the woman that God had in mind, before I was even conceived. So that I could raise two daughters who will change the world. And they will.

2009 is going to be beautifully remarkable!

We three are wishing you all a very lovely, blessed holiday season. Thank you for being a friend, for helping me through a very tough year. Thank you for all the prayers, encouragement and support. I couldn't have arrived here without you.

with love,

Kali

my kid is eating part of a coupon. my first "real boyfriend" who was not really a real boyfriend texted me out of the blue. the only room i have decorated for Christmas is Brooklyn's, and I am supposed to go to class tonight, but the thought of the possibility of staying home, by myself, is very appealing. it has been a strange day, or week for that matter.

yesterday, at a most unusual place and time, a wide eyed man named Kenny walked up to me and said, "I know what you're like."

having never met nor seen this man before, I was wondering what the correct response would be. apparently, he knew me, or of me, or must have heard about me. "Do you?" I replied...

"Yep. You focus on everyone else but not yourself. You worry about everyone but not about you."

strangely accurate.

like I said, it has been a strange week.

one of the worst people of my childhood (who i believe is not allowed in the state of Kansas) mysteriously called my mom's work phone to find out how to leave me his 401k. it has been years and years. i like to pretend he is dead. so you can imagine how it felt to hear about this phone call. how did he get her number? its eery. he can take his 401k and...

i have been considering relocating. both my blog and the state in which i live.

its definitely been a strange week.

No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us. And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God's love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow- not even the powers of hell can separate us from God's love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below- indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

(ROMANS 8:37-39)

It is nearly a miracle, but I finished a book!!! It has been a long time since I have finished a book. It would be safe to say, I used to have some trouble finishing things. Lately though, I have been. (I highly recommend the book Nurture by Lisa Bevere.) I am nearly finished with the semester! Woohoo!!!! It feels so good to be moving towards something. Speaking of moving- if there were baby crawling races, I would bet large sums of money on my Charlie Girl! This girl is so super fast, you can't take your eyes off her for even a moment. She can't be contained, she is so determined. On Thanksgiving day she started saying "thank you" and it is so cute! It more sounds like "dank ew". I am planning to take the girls downtown to take some unique photos, I will be sure to share them. I have so many house pics to share too. Oh, and the thrifting finds...I'm going to have a huge post in store.

Wishing you all a lovely day...

we three girlies

Thanksgiving Recipe...for disaster!!!!

Its the Holiday season. I love this time of year. I'm wishing it would slow down some. One of our local radio stations was playing Christmas music, all the time, in the second week of November. I love love love Christmas music. But I really liked the anticipation of the day after Thanksgiving, when it normally began. Unfortunately, as hard as I am trying, I'm not feeling all that excited about Thanksgiving. What is wrong with me? Of course, I do have a unique family situation which affords me FOUR different Thanksgiving dinners to choose from. Call me silly, but I like Thanksgiving in the movies. Everything is better in the movies. But you know how movies about Thanksgiving or Christmas with big jumbled up-but-loving families always leave you with this warm feeling...that is what I wished our family celebrations were like. I have always yearned for that sense of family. I think it was my junior year of high school, I didn't live at home. But for one day, which wasn't actually Thanksgiving, I went home. I baked my very first turkey, made my first mashed potatoes, and I can't remember what else...maybe green beans. My mom had to help me some. My mom always worked really hard, and she had to drive an hour each way to work. She usually wouldn't get home until around 6:30 (or later if there was a meeting) and no sooner then she kicked her heels off she was in the kitchen making dinner. Her dinners were always so good, but she didn't teach me a darn thing about cooking! (I read other blogs of mothers or grandmothers cooking with their girlies, and I wish I could tell those girlies how very lucky they are, and to cherish that time.) I don't know where or when I decided I wanted to start cooking, but I began with that Thanksgiving. My turkey was dry, it looked terrible! I have a picture some where...
I tried again for Brooklyn's first Thanksgiving. It was a DISASTER! So many things went wrong that day. It was a small gathering of 8 plus a few kiddos. I, for some strange reason, didn't know that you had to take a 12 pound turkey out of the freezer days in advance for it to thaw out. There was no way I was getting that bird thawed out and cooked in time! I called my dad in a panic, he said I could bake a big turkey breast. (he was already smoking a ham, thank goodness!) I tried to make this homemade stuffing from Real Simple magazine, and folks, nothing about it was real simple!!!! It was a mushy mess. The mashed potatoes were good, (seriously, how can one mess those up?) but there was no gravy. (I was planning on making giblet gravy from my turkey.) I made a chocolate pecan pie, it was yummy. The worst part, oh my goodness, I didn't have enough silverware for everyone!!! It was soooooo embarrassing! I waited to eat, and when some people finished I would wash their silverware for someone else to use. I didn't have enough cups either. Somehow, I didn't even think of that. The house looked pretty, it was great company and great pie. But the rest was a disaster that we all laugh about now. Needless to say, my grandma bought me a nice set of silverware for the following Christmas! And the next year's dinner was so much better, I pretty much redeemed myself. But I will never ever forget my first Thanksgiving dinner cooking for family.

For any of you girls flew the coop way to early, or had mothers who hated to cook, or just never took the time to learn, here are a few pointers should you be interested in making a Thanksgiving dinner:

1. The turkey MUST be taken out of the freezer DAYS in advance. The number of days depends on the weight of the turkey. There should be directions on the packaging, but worst case scenario- google it.

2. Just because a recipe comes from Real Simple magazine, it doesn't mean it is going to be real simple...and the pre-packaged stuffing is pretty darn good. Anytime you are making stuffing from scratch the first time, buy a box/package of stuffing too. It is cheap, and you might need it!

3. ALWAYS consider the NUMBER OF GUESTS who will be attending. Make sure you have enough flatware/silverware for them to eat with, and enough glasses/cups for them to drink from. Its incredibly embarrassing if you don't.

4. Don't be so wrapped up in the kitchen that you don't enjoy the holiday. Ask people to bring things...side dishes, pies, rolls, etc...it alleviates a lot of stress and I think the best family meals are the ones where everyone contributes!

5. Should you have a disastrous attempt (or a few) at making a holiday dinner, it will be okay. You may be humbled for the moment, but it will be something that you look back on fondly. I promise.

I have come a long way since my junior year of high school. I am definitely a way better cook. Brooklyn says, "Mom, yorda best cooker in the whole wide world!" This Thanksgiving, we may just stay home, get out the Christmas decorations/trees, and make a big pot of vegetable beef stew. While its bubbling, we might make a gratitude banner, praising God for all the beautiful blessings we have. Or maybe we will drive all over to make appearances at as many of the Thanksgiving dinners that we can. We'll see. No matter what the day holds, I will have so much to be thankful for. And there will be Christmas music, for sure!

We wish you a very happy, joy-is-a-full-tummy, warm, family filled Thanksgiving! May your turkey be thawed in time, your silverware be bountiful, your home full of laughter, your hearts full of gratitude!

I know I am thankful for you.

24

My birthday is in a few days, and I am a little excited! Okay, maybe a lot excited. I am not really sure why. Birthdays for me are like the "new year" for everyone else. I look back on the year, and forward to the next one, and I feel so excited for what could be!

I feel God all around me. Its funny, because a new devotional I started talked about the burning bush. And in the prayer prompt it said to ask God to reveal himself to you in all new ways, in ways He never has before. I felt almost selfish, as I have been asking God for so much these days. But then it occurred to me, what if He is just waiting for me to want to experience Him in ways He has yet to show me? What if He is just waiting to give me one hundred more ways to fall in love with Him? So I asked, and I feel Him. Its remarkable how content and complete I feel. It is so nice to be in the place where you feel like nothing is missing. I wish I could explain it better, because I know so many people don't understand. But when you love God, and try to live for God (try being the imperative word there :o) He is just always there. Every minute, every second, every situation and every circumstance, He is there. When you start noticing Him, when you start feeling Him all around you, when you start experiencing what its like to have a relationship with the Lord...well, its far better than you can ever imagine. Just fyi.

(side note: although I am very open about my faith, I feel like our faith belongs to us. Everyone has a right to their own, and it is a very personal and intimate part of our lives. I have never really felt compelled to...um...witness, per se. My life is certainly not the pretty Christian walk that I was told I should follow. So I can't even say that I lead by example. All I can be sure of is that God saves me every single day. He is something that I can always count on, absolutely, no matter what. He fills a place inside of me that can not be filled in any other way. From time to time, it just bubbles over. Like in this post. Its bubbling. I wish Christianity could shed its stereotypes, that it wasn't synonymous with Religion. I wish the Bible wasn't used to hurt people or to build walls or manipulate hearts. I wish there was a way to share without worrying that I am offending anyone. If there was a way to cure cancer and I knew it, I would tell the world. So if God has saved me, and He is the reason I am even still alive- its safe to say I will always be glad to share with anyone who will listen. There is only one stipulation- leave all your stereotypes and preconceived notions at the door. Because nothing about me, or my life, or my God, fits into any box. I'm just saying...so apparently this is a rather long side note. But That's all folks!!!)

I hope you all have a lovely weekend!!!

the next five years...

My daughter is five years old. People don't understand my sadness. I am happy too. I am most excited about making the next five years even more amazing than the last five! I am writing her a letter for her to open on her fifteenth birthday. I don't like thinking about fifteen.
Life has been hard lately. So instead of a post of sadness and fears, I am going to claim some things for my life. Right here. Right now.
God has given me a gift. He has given me this eye for seeing the world. When I see something, I am bombarded with details and lines and fragments and collections and colors. When I see faces I see distinguishing characteristics. I'll forget your name tomorrow but I will never forget a face. Oh, and hands. I love hands. I love smiles and eyes and cheek bones and jaw bones. I love the curves of a woman and the rigid lines of a mans shoulders. I love irregularities and uniqueness. I think all types of woman are beautiful, even sexy. I can't think of many things more beautiful than a pregnant woman with stretch marks or a man holding his newborn baby. And children...by far my favorite form of art. Before your very eyes they are growing. Everything about them is genuine. When I see people, I see artwork. Fine artwork. God's artwork. With or without a camera, I am constantly taking pictures. I am memorizing frames of what I see. There are so many incredible images I want to capture. They are all around me. The thought of using my gift to give others a picture of all the beauty I see when I see them, that thrills me. God has given me a gift indeed, and I think He wants me to bless people with it. "It is time," I hear him say..."It is time to start moving."
Now there are certainly many things I have to get in order before I dive head first into this dream of mine. You know, all of those ducks to get into a row. But I'm getting closer. And I believe. God won't let this go away. Please allow me to dream for a moment, and dream big. It refreshes me during a time when everything seems impossible.
I am going to become a photographer. The real deal. I am going to make money doing what I love, what I am passionate about. Not only will I do this, but I will be good at it. I will translate through photography the way God has created me to see beauty all around me. My photos will be unique, lovely, breathtaking, beautiful translations. I will take chances. I will try hard. I will never stop believing. Someday I will be successful.
When I am, I am going to buy a home in the country. It will be in some small town. I am going to buy Brooklyn a horse. I am going to grow her some corn. I am going to have a big beautiful garden and a home where everyone feels welcome and anyone can escape to. I am going to have a big porch and lots of trees. I am going to invite friends and family and neighbors over to dance under the stars and laugh til it hurts. And I am going to give back. Should I ever have a little money to my name, I will never lose sight of where I came from. I will never be so foolish to believe that it could all go away in an instant, or that it was ever my money in the first place. And some day, I will help a struggling young mother. I promise. I make this promise to my daughters. And when I am in that position, I will point to God. I will tell the story of my mother, and my grandmother, and how it was because of them that I made it through. Then I will make some pie and coffee and we will talk about her dreams. I will believe in her. I will never stop believing in her.
And maybe someday I will sit on the porch with him. He and I will look out at the beautiful trees, and then at the home we worked so hard on. We won't really need to say much. We will just sit and sip and smile. We will live completely in that moment. Then I will follow him up the beautiful old staircase to our room. We will crawl into our bed. I will thank the Lord for my husband. I will look at him and know what it feels like to be loved and admired, the way God intended for me all along. My heart will overflow with this feeling of what it must feel like to be wrapped up in the arms of the man God picked for me, the man who has promised his life to me, the man who protects my heart and the hearts of my daughters. For the first time in my life, I will know what it feels like to trust a man, to be loved by a man as God's word commands him to. I will know what it feels like to make love to my husband. And I will look back at this time in my life, and think, "Oh Darlin, if you only knew..."
So I am going to become a successful photographer. (By successful I mean one that can pay the bills and save a little, and still afford to thrift shop/garage sale/flea market. lol :o) I am going to buy a home for myself and my daughters. I am going to be married someday, years from now. I am going to help others and bless others and change lives. I am going to walk closely with the Lord forever and ever. That is what I dream of. I am going to give my daughter her letter when she is fifteen, and she is going to be a happy, healthy, Christian girl. She won't be living on her own, caught up with some boy, struggling through trying to decide what it means to be loved or to love herself. She is going to be beautiful. She is going to be forced to spend Sundays with me. She is going to think I am overbearing and too strict from time to time. She will be learning to drive. She will know how to bake pies and play an instrument. She will have her own camera. She will have her horse. Maybe she will play sports, or dance and sing. She won't have a boyfriend...since she will have another year to wait for dating...in groups. She will be figuring a lot of things out. But all the while, she will know that she is loved and adored and cherished by her mother. She will know I am absolutely proud of her, every single minute, no matter what. She will know that she is worthy because she is a daughter of the King. And that no matter where she finds herself, He will always be there to rescue her, to protect her, to save her, to love her. These are my dreams. I believe in them. I am asking God for them. Ask, and you shall receive, right?
I'm excited for what is in store. I am excited to wake my baby girl up with one big happy birthday. I love birthdays.
I think I might go sneak one of the cookies I made for her class treats tomorrow...shhhh...

a monkey and a cow in my bed

Have you ever seen such a cute cow before? There is even a cute little cow tail in the back! And boy howdy, she knew she was cute too! Oh, and then there was the monkey. You should have seen the monkey. You might have recognized her from this post. I have always loved Halloween. But anymore, Halloween has become bittersweet. Halloween means Brookie's birthday is right around the corner. My baby isn't so much a baby. There is just something about turning five. She is officially no longer a baby, and I can't even cling to "toddler" anymore. She will be starting Kindergarten next year. She is so stinkin smart and we have real conversations. Great conversations. Today she helped me pick out a dress for Gregg's funeral, even buttoned the back of one for me. She walked up sidewalks to scary houses and didn't even need me to go with her. After I told her for like the sixth time to make sure she said thank you, she stopped, looked at me, and said, "Mom, you can stop saying that. You don't have to tell me every time." Oh. Okay. You can walk up sidewalks to scary porches while I look on. You can say "trick-or-treat" all by yourself, and remember your manners all by yourself. You can carry your bucket and tell others "Happy Halloween!" with such sincere enthusiasm. You can tell perfect strangers how cute their little baby lady bug is. You.are.a.big.girl...
My heart was a little sad this Halloween. My family hurts right now. My father passed away this week. I was excited to take the girls trick-or-treating. (Despite the fact that I had forgotten my sneakers to change into, and Charlie's stroller. So I had to walk in heels/barefoot, carrying my roly poly cow, for like...a mile. :)
I was wishing that I had someone to experience this with. I was wishing that I had someone to get excited with me, to help me, to look on at what a big girl my Brooklyn has become. But only for a moment, and then Brooklyn slipped her little hand in mine and said, "Mama, I wanna go home." We got home and Brooklyn dumped all her candy in our family candy bowl. Then she asked if I wanted some. I'm telling you, I have the most amazing daughters. I told Brooklyn to brush her teeth and get ready for bed. She said, "I wanna sleep with you, mom. I just wanna snuggle you."
Of course she can sleep with me. Because although she is almost five, she still wants her mama at the end of the day. She's not that big. Well, not yet. I am trying to savor every moment. My first five years of motherhood have taught me so much. I have never been more in love. Brooklyn is so beautiful, so sweet hearted, so loving and kind and happy. Someone today said, "Brooklyn, you are just so happy every time I see you! Are you always this happy?" Yep. That's her. She brings joy to everyone she meets. She is the best big sister, and she helps me take care of Charlotte every single day. God knows I am so proud of her. And today, when she helped me button the back of my dress, I had this moment of realization. Brooklyn is my best friend. What the three of us have is something very very special. My daughters are the ultimate God Gifts. It just doesn't get much better then this.
Tomorrow is the funeral. I'm gearing up for what I know will be a very emotional day. And while endings are always sad, I'm so glad that he isn't in pain anymore, and I intend to celebrate him. Beauty from ashes, faith from fear, gladness from mourning, peace from despair. I think I am starting to feel some of that peace I have been praying for.
My monkey and my little cow are asleep. I think I am going to go snuggle them for awhile. There is no place in the whole world I'd rather be.

God is so good.

the white side of the right bed

I still can't find the battery charger for my camera, but I figured out how to send my email pictures from my new phone, so they will have to do for now!

I have been wanting a metal or iron headboard for quite some time. I already had a pretty curvy dresser with mirror, and matching night stands, so I needed a headboard. I considered making my own, was never really thrilled with any wooden headboard I found. I'm not so much about things matching, but I didn't want to bring in another type of furniture that wouldn't really compliment the pieces I already had. (Sorry if I am losing you, this is my decorator brain talking :o)

You would think a metal/iron headboard would be easy enough to come by. I was having a terrible time finding one. If I found an antique/vintage one, it was too small for my queen mattresses. I found few new ones that I kinda liked, but most were out of my price range. I was able to find a few online, but its always tricky purchasing things like that online. I couldn't find much on ebay, if there was one I liked it was most definitely located in California or Maine. All my goodwill/dav/thrift store trips turned up nothing. I had pretty much given up on this endeavor, when I happened across this:

Now, you can imagine my excitement! Could it be? Did I finally find...the one? What's this you say? A foot board to match?? for all of $29.97? SOLD!!! In this picture it looks like its a pretty brown color, like so many you see in other blogs and magazines. It was actually a hunter green faux marble type design. I was left with no choice. A few cans of spray paint later:

Isn't it lovely? I can't wait to share some detailed shots. It looks short here because I just used a bed frame to hold up for painting, so this isn't the right bed frame. I was out painting in the sun, which is therapeutic in some strange way. It wasn't long before Austin and Brooklyn came out to help. At least he brought a radio. My job was to point out all the spots he missed. :o) I had a vision when I first saw this bed, but its even prettier than I imagined. I love it when things like this happen...another God gift! I think I need a label for God gifts. I see mounds of soft, lacy, white pillows and soft, warm covers you can just get lost in. I can't wait until it all comes together! Maybe a beautiful Christmas wreath at the foot of the bed...in all whites... (I admit, I'm already dreaming of decorating for Christmas. I'm okay, really. Just keep me away from the beautiful Christmas isles at Hobby Lobby!)

I have so much to share, I'm so behind!

To my dear Beverly, I just saw your comment on my last post. I'm headed for bed now, but I will be in touch soon!

flea queen to the core

The local monthly flea market was today. No spectacular finds to share...but I bought a box of baby/doll clothes for $5 which had some very pretty items. For some reason its really hard for me to resist these dainties. I have too many. I think I will sell a lot of them on ebay. What do you all have a hard time resisting?

My irresistible list:

vintage dresses

vintage baby and dolly clothes

anything blue or green

chippy little cabinets

antique/vintage jewelry

antique/vintage baby items

Lately I am trying to avoid buying small stuff. I am trying to look for functional items, or architectural pieces. Right now I am loving old wire locker baskets and old mirrors. I saw a few today, but not "single mom" priced. :o)

I want my home to be very, very, uncluttered. My decorating style really falls into several...um...categories, I guess you could say. But most of all, I don't like clutter. I have noticed that my eye is drawn to more masculine type pieces, which is strange. My eye used to land on curvy pieces, romantic pieces, pinks and whites, florals, and the like. Now I am falling for worn rusty patinas, clean lines, practicality and usefulness, always anything white, worn fabrics in faded colors, even hardware and metals. To be honest with you, my mind is always racing with colors and ideas and wishes and placement and vignettes. In my mind, I have decorated and redecorated most rooms in my house at least five times since I have lived here. I have been a little surprised at this decorator in me. My mom was always very practical and our home was always nice, but she wasn't a collector of paint chips and fabric swatches, nor a flea queen or thrift store regular. Its sorda strange to have something that is all my own, that I discovered about myself, that just happened upon me out of left field. I think we twenty-somethings need these types of things- pieces of our identity that came completely from within. And maybe its slightly a creativity/control thing. I might be the type of person that needs a creative outlet, and needs to control her immediate surroundings because she feels her life is so beyond her own control. Whatever the root of my love of home and decorating and color and vintage, I'm loving building my home, with love and careful selection, and two pretty little girls in tow.

I'm hoping to share some pictures tomorrow. I have so many beautiful finds to catch you all up on. And a bathroom...a clean, crisp, white and...gray bathroom to share.

five days for five years

Brooklyn will be five in less than a month!!! And this birthday is monumental in more ways then one....oooh I am brimming with excitement!!!!

On her birthday, Mickey Mouse is going to be giving her a call. He is going to let her know that she gets to go to WALT DISNEY WORLD!!!!!!!

We are going in December, and I am so very excited! I have been to Disney Land twice but never Disney world. I graciously welcome any advice/tips/ideas you all might have.

I wanted to share this advice for any other parents on a tight budget who might be stopping by.

Okay, I have been wanting to take Brooklyn to Walt Disney World for a long time. It can be very expensive, but it can also be really affordable. First, I recommend going to the website and signing up using your email. You won't receive a bunch of unwanted messages, and you will receive emails of when they have special deals going on. A while back I received an email of their discounted rates during certain dates of the winter season. Also, I found this website very helpful: www.mousesavers.com -its worth stopping by. The advertised deal was for five days, four nights at a Disney resort, theme park tickets for all five days, and free dining for two adults, one junior, and one child for $1253.00. (Free dining isn't exactly free dining...you receive vouchers for each person. The website above explains clearly.) When you can, and if you don't have three football players going, it is a good idea to get free dining. I have heard that food, even bottled water, is VERY expensive. I thought five days was plenty for a five year old girl, and especially during Christmas time!!! I have heard that Disney does an incredible, magical Christmas celebration. So, because we are two adults, one child and one baby, our trip was even less expensive. We got the four nights/five days in an upgraded room, five days of theme park tickets, free dining/transportation to and from airport, for barely over $1000. The only additional costs will be flights and any extras. A vacation for four, for under $2000 can be tough to do. Its doable, but you have to be patient. You have to search around for the deals, they don't really advertise the best deals. Hopefully somebody finds this helpful!

Got to go get ready for church...

Happy Sunday!!!

Everything matters, and everything counts. Going through this time has made realize this truth. Our life is a record kept of our souls, in a way. And perfection is not what I think we are supposed to strive for. I'm starting to see that we should all be spreading goodness. Goodness is what I strive for. Perfection is long gone around here, let me tell ya. But from all of my mistakes has come a whole lot of goodness.


While I was visiting Gregg, my old brother was visiting too. I wanted to bring him some lunch. I went through subway's drive-thru, and the girl working was...um...kinda mean. Anyone who knows me well, knows that I have a very hard time being assertive. I will eat an undercooked steak rather than send it back. I will drink the wrong pop rather than ask for the diet I ordered. If I hear you coming with your shopping cart and I feel like I might be in your way, I will move on to another isle. But when that drive-thru girl was so rude to me, I had to remind myself that I love the Lord and that means I should love her too. You know what? I didn't need that on that day. I was competely taken aback by her ability to be so rude to me and for no good reason!! Just as I was about to excersize my very weak assertive muscle, I stopped and I looked at her. She looked like a miserable person. The way she carried herself, the way she spoke, the expression on her face...and I said nothing. By the time she brought my drink to the window, I apologized and said that I misunderstood her. Her response, as you can imagine, was still rude. I smiled as I drove off. I did what I could do, and I spread a little goodness. And the record for that day was improved upon. If I ever work in a drive-thru, I am going to treat every customer like they might be buying a sandwich for their brother, so that they can spend the afternoon taking care of their dying father. Because the truth is, none of know what the people we encounter are going through.
Time to shift in thought here. I have found some lovely items lately. I read this post of a fellow blogger and I was smitten. Here is one picture:

Do you see those vintage tutus? OH.MY.GRACIOUS! I saw these and I just knew I had to get one for Brooklyn's room! She is, afterall, my little dancer! I searched ebay on a regular basis, to no avail. I even looked on etsy. No luck. Then after I took a load of goodies to my booth, I thought I would just take a look around. (By the way, if you love vintage items and antiques, don't get a booth at a mall. You could easily spend the money you make on more lovelies.) I searched the rows, and I couldn't find a single thing I just had to have. I nearly passed a tiny booth filled to the brim when some I saw some tule from the corner of my eye. Would you believe that I found a vintage dress/costume/almost tutu, in Brooklyn's favorite purple, and for $10!!!!! That was a God gift. (That is what I call it when you find something extra special that you have been wanting, at a great price, just sorda out of the blue.) It will be perfect in her room!

So many things to share...I will be back soon!

i got the blues...

Oh.my.gracious...

I am in need of a time of peace, and rest. Desperate need.

Gregg's health is declining rapidly. Today funeral arrangements were made. My older brother is taking care of most of this kind of yucky stuff. I have spent some time with Gregg and that has been good. We even played checkers. I can't imagine what it must be like, to be able to see the end of the ride.

On to brighter things. I really haven't had much extra time to do anything. My poor home is suffering for my schedule. My mom and I managed to go to a couple of sales this morning, and I found some neat stuff. I studied and studied for an algebra test, and I did very well! That is always exciting. Brooklyn and Charlotte are just growing like flowers. Charlie claps now and it is so cute! It's October! I love October!!! To think, I would have been getting married in nine days...

The truth is, all of this stuff is hitting me pretty hard. I'm just having a rough time right now. My Internet is fixed, and I promise a more cheerful post, with pictures, in the very near future. Just need a little time...

I have missed you, friends!

My internet at home isn't working, and I am not quite sure why. I am posting today from my grammy's house. I have so much to share, not a lot of time now. I will be back soon!

love always,

kali

a new chapter

The man who gave me half of my chromosomes is dying.

Today I went to his birthday celebration. I didn't really say much to him. Happy Birthday, its good to see you, all those surface level things we say. He is my brothers' father. I haven't spoken to him since I was pregnant with Brooklyn. It wasn't a good conversation. I was very reluctant about going to his birthday celebration, on my dad's actual birthday no less. My brothers wanted me to go, and so I went.

I could try to explain to you the story of how I began, it would leave you more confused. I could try to explain how I came to know he was my biological father, but it doesn't matter. It is my life and I don't get it- I could never expect anyone else to. To be clear, I have a dad. He raised me from the moment I was born. He is my dad and I am his daughter and although we don't share a genetic code, what we have goes much deeper than that. I thank God for my dad every day.

When I walked up to Gregg, I was shocked at how thin he was. There wasn't much more to him then bones and skin, and seeing him was like a blow to the chest. It is one thing to know someone is terminally ill, it is another to see their illness killing them. With a smile he said, "Now there is a familiar face." I gave him a half hug and told him happy birthday.

I was thirteen when paternity was determined. It was an awful time. I didn't really want to know, I felt like I had a father and that was all that mattered. I didn't know what difference it made, either way. After finding out the results, I was immediately thrown into an additional family. He wanted me to call him dad. He bought things at Christmas and tried to teach me how to oil paint while standing over my shoulder. I think he was disappointed at my efforts. He talked about how sometimes talking to me was just like talking to my mother. I think he might have made an appearance at some program in high school. When I got pregnant my senior year, he wasn't happy about it. He was especially unhappy about the fact that my baby was biracial. Someday I will share the story of how Brooklyn began. After that conversation, I told myself I would never see him and he would never see my baby. Every time I was around him or had a conversation with him, I felt conflicted. I couldn't be or act the way he wanted me to, in my heart and mind I already had a father. I went into the situation with ill feelings because of the way he had treated my mother. That's another song. It just never really felt right.

I had been dreading this evening. I knew I needed to go. He had become so malnourished that they stopped the chemotherapy, feeling his poor nutrition was a greater threat to his life than the cancer. I wanted to go for my brothers. It was actually my half sister who threw the party, and she did a wonderful job. She is the oldest, my oldest brother is 36. I don't know much about that situation, just that she was born before my mom and Gregg were together and she was put up for adoption. After many rejected attempts, she was finally able to grow a relationship with Gregg. I think what they have is something special. I admire her, and I think for a brief moment tonight I actually looked at her and saw my sister. It was a little weird.

There was a lot of family, all of which told me they were so glad that I came. I was glad too. I don't know what I was so afraid of. There was one of those big blow up jump around things for the kids, and Brooklyn just played played played. Most everyone just couldn't get enough of Charlie. I was uneasy most of the time, and I didn't really know what to think or feel. The whole family has always referred to Gregg as my dad and even tonight when speaking to Brooklyn they referred to him as grandpa. She just met him for the very first time this evening, and then people are telling her he is grandpa! I didn't know what to do, and I just let everything unfold. Brooklyn didn't really ask questions. It was like she knew I was uneasy and having a hard time.

It was time to sing the song and blow the candles. Family and friends gathered under a tent with pretty lights, and it was nice. They sat the cake before him. Then it hit me. I started to cry. I wondered what it must feel like to be blowing out the candles of a birthday cake for what would probably be the last time. I wondered what it would be like to know that this would probably be the last birthday. I was singing happy birthday and crying for a man I didn't really know, that without which I would not exist. I have been angry with him for so long, and tonight I let it go. When I smiled at him, it was genuine. When I hugged him, I meant it. When I cried, I cried for him. And despite what had been said, I introduced my daughters to him with all the pride a heart can carry. One with curly brown hair and dark eyes, with the most perfect color of skin- one with big blue eyes and blond hair and a sweet shyness about her. I had a hard time looking at him. It hurt just to look at him.

As we were leaving we made our way up the deck stairs. Brooklyn was ahead of Charlie and I. I was saying goodbyes and I noticed Brooklyn at the top of the stairs with Gregg. It was dark and I didn't want her to be uncomfortable and I didn't know what was going on so I hurried up the stairs. Gregg was hugging her tightly. I knew he was saying something to her but I couldn't hear. I told him goodbye and eventually we made it to our car. I was hurting in all kinds of ways, and some had nothing to do with the events of the evening. I was ready to go home. I asked Brooklyn what that man said to her. She said, "Oh, the one who was hugging me?"

"yes, did he say something to you?"

"Yeah, he just told me that I was the most beautiful girl in the whole world."

I smiled and secretly cried. I think he meant it.

That was the best gift he has ever given me. There is nothing better that he could have said. I love him for saying that. I love him because I am part of him. I love him because I am tired of hating him. I love him because I don't have much longer.

He will die soon. I will live on. My brothers and sister will too. And while none of us really know or understand the story, we are parts of the story nonetheless. I am starting to understand more and more that the ones who wrote the story before us are still writing it today. My mom was molded by parents that were molded by their parents. My brothers and I raise our children based on what we have been taught, or learned, from our parents. We are all a part of this grander plan, this intricate story of love and pain, of human-ness. We all need God. And every single day, we all get to write the story with Him.

I hope that I can learn some really great things about the man who gave me half of my chromosomes. I plan to spend all the time I have left loving, despite differences. And I am going to love my daughters every single day, the best that I can, because I can. Because I have time and I don't know when it will be over. Every birthday I will blow out the candles with sheer joy. I will thank God for every single day. I will write with intention my story, and their stories, and subsequently their children's stories. The older I get, the more I realize that it isn't so much how the story begins or how it ends, its all the space in between. I need not know the story of how I began, or of how I will end. The substance is in the space between. That is what matters.

I am alive. My life is a story co-written by the greatest author of all. He knows my beginning and my end, and He knows the beautiful in between. Let this be known to all the world: the most beautiful parts of my story are my two daughters, Brooklyn and Charlotte. They are the very best parts of me, of anything I shall ever do, or say, or be. It matters not how they began, it only matters that they are.

To my...Gregg,
Thank you for playing a role in the beginning of my story. Thank you for letting me play a role in the ending of yours.
Love Always,
Kali

pray for texas

This weekend is a big event at the antique mall where my booth is located, so keep your fingers crossed that I make a few sales!

I am dedicating this weekend to my home. I always think that I will be able to get more done during the weekend, but I just have too much going on to take on any major home projects during the week. This weekend I hope to have the bathroom finished. I have a new faucet to replace the yucky generic older one, but I have never changed one of those before. I know I could do it, just need some good online tutorials and directions!

I have some recent finds to share, and I will have to snap some pictures asap.

I thought I would share a couple pictures of the girls that I have taken recently:

Charlotte's 6 month picture...I need photoshop so I can edit the eye boogy...

The girls on Brooklyn's first day of Pre-K. Brooklyn was so excited, and I think Charlotte missed her.
I have been talking to some friends about taking pictures for them, and when things slow down some I am hoping to get going! Pray for me!

No, pray for Texas.

I know I said I would post booth pictures on Monday, and it is Friday. I can't find my battery charger for my camera. I wish I were more on top of things, and a little less scatter brained.

I'm headed to bed. Thursdays are exhausting! I will be back tomorrow- no school, no work, no plans- just house cleaning and grocery shopping.

Goodnight Friends

i.am.exhausted...

i must say i will be thrilled after i get everything finished for the booth. initially i was worried that i wouldn't have enough to fill my space so i have been to more thrift stores, goodwills, dav's and garage sales then i can keep track of. i have gone to at least one of the above every day just trying to find great items. in my last post i said the hardest part was knowing how to price things...i take that back. the hardest part is not keeping things for yourself! i have a "wait and see" pile...i set those extra special items aside for awhile. i try to buy only things that i love, but then i love them!

i have to share one of my all time favorite finds. i walked into one of my favorites and the girls said that everything was half off. awesome! i headed strait for the furniture because i was needing some for my booth. there it was...
a 1950's GE refridgerator!!!!! i looked it over, checked inside, it was plugged in and cold. it was really clean which surprised me. the tag said $100, so for $50 i practically stole the coolest fridge ever! i will post a pic on monday, with lots of other pics. (booth pics)

here are some of the things i have found:
unused baby books from 1950's w/the best graphics!
vintage linens
hand sewn dolly clothes
old needlepoint purse
pretty dishes
vanity
sweet baby print
vintage sewing items
shabby dresser
silver pieces
and more!

i can't wait to see how everything comes together! and you'll get to see too, on monday. see ya then!

a day at home...thank the Lord!

Today I am not leaving this house. I didn't even take Brooklyn to school. Charlotte is sick, no fever, just stuffy nose and coughing. I think she has allergies. I was going to move things to the booth today, but it is rainy. Eddie the water guy was supposed to come change my filters. I called and rescheduled. Today its just me and my girls. We are ordering in and watching DVRed Gilmore Girls and Roseanne and I am going to paint some furniture during nap time. But I will be home all day, and I am absolutely happy about that.

Brooklyn is having fun in dance class. She started in the intermediate class and I was worried that she might be behind the other girls- but she hangs right in there with them. My classes are going well and I am really enjoying school. I just wish I knew what I was meant to do...

Brooklyn was putting a dish in the sink, and she skipped all the way there. I think that is pretty cool. If only we could always be so happy and zealous.

I have been spending most of my spare time working on booth stuff. I have some before and after pictures to share. So far the hardest part has been trying to figure out how to price things. Well, and finding time of course. I have found lots of inspiring booth pictures.

I can't wait to show you all that I have done...starting with this sweetie:

blessed beyond measure

I'm eating strawberries and cream frosting right out of the tub, and watching sex and the city. (I only watch the edited version...recently watched one of the dvd's and it was too much for me...made me almost uncomfortable...yeah, I'm still a nerd.)

Its only my second week of school, and while there are so many things on my mind and in my heart, one thing stands out for me. When you are a mom going back to college, every day is a small miracle. Many people must come together to get you there. Grandma's watch babies. Sweet teachers let you pay tuition twice a month instead of in one lump payment. Dads change their schedules. Austin spends his one day off a week, taking care of my girlies and cleaning my house or mowing my lawn during nap time. He leaves work a little early so I can get to my evening class on time, and I come home to clean dishes and a happy baby. This week would not have been possible if it weren't for my family, and I know that each day only flows because many people come together to make it happen. I can't say enough how much I appreciate it.

Charlotte is such a happy baby. She just smiles and smiles, and I am so in love with her. I still can't stop squeezing her and kissing her and snuggling her. Brooklyn sure does love Charlotte and no one can make her laugh live Brooklyn does. They have something really special. I was watching Oprah and the show was about spoiled kids. There was this four year old girl, with thousands in american girl products, real diamond earrings, tons of clothes and toys, even her very own coach purse. Her mom eventually admitted that she spends big money to compensate for working full time. Brooklyn and I shop at goodwills and thrift stores and target. She might get an american girl doll for her birthday, and that I have to scrimp for. We went to one of our favorite thrift stores today, and she wanted a toy. I didn't have much money to spend and she has sooo many toys. I told her "not today babe." She knows this response all too well. She didn't complain or fuss or question or get grouchy. She just put the toy back and we left. She is such a great kid. She deserves all the things that little girl has. She would appreciate it. I wish I could spoil Brooklyn sometimes. I wish I could fly her to NYC and take her to the American Girl Store, let her pick out which ever doll she wants...then its off to FAO for some dress up clothes...then to sephora so she can pick out a lip gloss (she loves make up)...museums...central park...dinner at some yummy restaurant where I am sure she would order mac & cheese with a sprite. If I could, I would. Maybe someday...

I'm just feeling so thankful. I am thankful for my family, for Austin, for my happy healthy girls. I'm thankful and I am so blessed.

It is blessed nap time, and so I am able to post.
Brooklyn loves school! I took pictures (yep, I'm that mom) and I will share them soon. She looks so stinkin cute with her little purple back pack. I only cried a little, after I left her school. She tells me, "Mom, everybody has to grow up."

But not everybody is my baby girl.

I've been to all of my classes and I'm starting to think I blend in now. For some reason at first, I felt like I had one of those sandwich boards on "SINGLE MOM, NEVER MARRIED, SUPER SMART BUT THIS IS HER THIRD ATTEMPT AT COLLEGE, HAS NO CLUE WHAT TO GET HER DEGREE IN, BUT IS IN THERAPY AND WILL FIGURE THAT OUT." oh, and:

"DON'T GET TOO CLOSE, SHE HAS HORRIBLE COFFEE BREATH."

Actually, there are a variety of types of people at my college. I have returning adult students in all of my classes. I don't know why I felt so awkward...

I did something crazy. I signed a lease for my very own antique booth. I know, as if I don't already have enough on my plate. Hopefully I can make a little money, enough for gas would be nice. If nothing else, I will have fun while I break even!

And remember this dear friend and her incredible store? Well I am going to start helping out around there, and I am very excited! I always have fun in the company of Emily- she is a celebrity around these parts!!! :o)

I will post more soon...

Welcome Fall!!!

back to school

There has been a lot going on around here lately. I am officially a "college student" and I attended my first class last night. Its a women studies course on domestic violence. I am really looking forward to this class! My other classes are English 102 and Math 111. I know you'll make a face when you read this, but I really love algebra. I like the problem solving. It makes my brain feel good. I'm a nerd.

I went to Brooklyn's "Meet the Teacher" conference and I loved her! She has a very sincere way about her, and I could tell Brooklyn felt very comfortable with her. Monday is her first day!

Some more news...I have been on the waiting list at an antique mall here in town. I have been wanting my own booth for some time now, and I certainly have enough to fill one. They have availability and I am going to check it out on monday morning. I am really excited but I don't want to bite off more than I can chew...we'll see. It might be a good thing.

This is going to be a laid back weekend, full of cleaning and painting, organizing, and enjoying some time with the little ladies. Brooklyn and I will have so much fun:

Have a great weekend!!!

GOODIES AND A GIVEAWAY!!!!

I am so excited to share some of the lovely goodness I have found recently!

This pitcher and bowl were $7.50! They have matching markings, so they have survived many years together to finally find a place in my home. These were used for "washing up" many many many years ago. The most expensive purchase was this antique lace table cloth, at $32. It is very large and I plan to use it on the foot of my bed. My mom bought this for me, and I had to talk myself into letting her spend that much. As we were leaving the antique mall, I found one similar in worse condition priced at $75! I felt better about the price after that.


I bought several postcards dated from 1908-1915. Almost all of them are unused. I paid anywhere from $1 - $3 per card. Still, cheaper than buying a new greeting card or some little scrapbook notion.

I loved this picture at first sight. It might have been the blue green background...or the feminine flowers in masculine colors (earthy browns and golden yellows)...or the chippy frame in creamy white. This picture was $6.30! I found the vintage lamp shade looking lonely on a shelf at the DAV. I loved the ruffles and the lace, and the price of $1.98!!! Stay tuned for the plans I have for her!
One of my favorite finds- this vintage satiny silky purse with its little baby coin purse. There are little sparkly diamonds in the clasp. The inside is that peach color and it is marked with a sparkly "M". I am going to have to do some research. I paid $6.98 for these two.
This was perhaps my biggest steal. I don't own any vanity sets, but I saw the birdies on this set (look closely :o) and I had to have it. For those who aren't familiar - pictured here is a jewelry tree, a lipstick holder, and a perfume tray. I was scared to see the price...$14.50!!! Then when I went to purchase the item, that booth was discounted 30%!!! I paid just over $10! I looked for markings- this is a Matson. I did a little research. Matson was a company based out of New York, and they made all types of vanity items- from shaving items to perfume bottles- during the 1950's and 60's. My vanity set here is plated in 24k gold. I couldn't find these particular items on ebay, but most marked Matson items were selling anywhere from $20 to $100+. I just love anything birds, and these birdies belong on my dresser!
This baby book is one of my favorite finds. It belongs to Evelyn Rummel, born at home in 1921. Her mommy filled out much of this book, and saved cards and notes and articles and even a lock of her hair. I nearly cried as I looked through this book. Why doesn't Evelyn's great granddaughter have this treasure? To some this might just be "stuff" but to me these are the kinds of things that teach us about our history, about change, about then and now, about life. I paid $12.50 for this book. But to me, it is priceless.

The saying on the first page reminds me of Charlie.
Just one of the pages, memories lovingly saved. Scrapbooking in the 1920's...
In the picture above, there are two baby dresses, a little knit sweater of the softest blue with a ribbon enclosure, two matching knit sockies, a warm fuzzy hat (bottom right corner) and a letter from Aunt Ella to baby Mary Elizabeth circa 1909. Ella writes to Mary, talking of her father's long ride to fetch her nurse for her birth, of learning to ride, of how happy she was that she was a girl. I purchased these items on ebay. They were all found together- someone probably purchased an estate or something. I bought all of these items for $12.49, with $4.00 shipping. I will take good care of them, and I plan to display these in Charlie's room. (along with a collection of antique baby items...I just can't help it.)Look at those teeny tiny buttons!!! Some of the smallest I have seen!

You can see the little fuzzy hat better, with its lace edge and ribbons. Its silky soft on the inside. Above it are two vintage baby pillowcases. One has tiny flowers embroidered along the edge, the other is made of linen and lace, with a soft ruffle.

I bought the vintage little girlie hat for $1.50! I needed some little hangers for display, and bought these chippy white hangers for $2.25 on ebay. The pair of vintage bunnies I bought for $2.70. Little blue doll dress in the corner was less than $3.

Look at that old millinery...little blue velvet ribbon... and there is a cream colored ribbon that ties around the chin...so so sweet! And these items were photographed on a vintage baby quilt, of a peachy pink satin. Upon close inspection, my mom thought this was hand quilted. I paid $3 for it.

I love to find pairs, fitting for my pair of girls.

AND FINALLY....THE GIVEAWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here is the first of many giveaways!!!!! I am including one of my favorite decorating books. I have looked over this book many many times. I think I have it memorized...so its time to pass it on. There are some lovely ideas in Country Living's Decorating Vintage Style. This vintage muffin tin in a beautiful green would be perfect for your craft room or even jewelry. These are great for organizing sewing notions, crafting baubles, scrapbooking items, or jewelry. I wouldn't cook anything in this, just to be err on the side of caution. Last but not least, this beautiful dish. I just loved the colors and the dainty pattern. I use dishes for all kinds of things- catching jewelry on a dresser, wall art, a resting place for chunky bars of soap. I searched through many dishes while antiquing this weekend, and this one was "the one". Dishes were the first things I started collecting because they were really affordable. I would often search through hundreds of dishes at thrift stores before I found a lovely to come home with me. Dishes are close to my heart- especially ones with imperfections. And I have a feeling a couple more lovelies will sneak into the box before I send it off...

To enter the drawing, email your name and zip code to alifelovely@gmail.com, or you could just leave a comment on this post. Brooklyn will draw a name next Sunday. I will contact you for where to send your package!!!

Sending love to you and yours!

Kali

a few days away

Hello Friends!

I'm headed out of town this afternoon. My brother and his lovely family live an hour and a half away. They live in a smaller community with the cutest "downtown" you ever saw! And the old homes are so well taken care of, its almost fairytale like. My mom and I are going to stay a couple nights. Tomorrow we are going to shop all the little small town shops, and I am going to buy something to add to the giveaway. I already have a few items together, but I want to find something special to add...

I hope you all have a great weekend! For many its already back to school time! I will be back Saturday, with my giveaway post...and pictures...

love,
kali

still distracted...

I think I have a problem. It is three in the morning and I can't sleep. Most nights I have trouble falling asleep, because my mind just races with thoughts. Thoughts like...

I should make Brooklyn a dollhouse for Christmas, I better get started now... I loved that bedding for her, but I just bought bedding for her...I wonder if I could sell it on ebay?...I wish those shower curtains would get here, could I live with a pattern or should I stick with the white?...I hope I can buy a new hardware for the sink, I wonder if I could install it myself...should I use towel bars or just hooks?...I kind of like the look of hooks...I hope someone drops so I can switch classes...I better get Brooklyn in for her physical...

and it never stops.

So I get online and I look at blogs, or I look at magazines. Like it is just some itch that I can scratch and go back to sleep. But it isn't. If I were sick in a hospital bed, I would probably be thinking of what wall colors would make the room more cozy and inviting. I'm NUTS. That is all there is to it.

I'm back in school, and so that's good. I love my college. Both of my parents graduated from the college I go to, and when I walk around the campus I think of them. I imagine them walking the same sidewalks when I was just a baby. Slow and steady wins the race, and that is my plan for the next 5 or 6 years.

Bathroom #1 has an enclosed tub. It isn't the most attractive bath, but I kind of like it. I'm thinking I want to hang a shower curtain anyway, just to soften the room a bit. I know if I buy a shower curtain with a pattern I will be ready for a new one in about two to three months. So I thought I would stick with white. White always looks fresh, clean, crisp. I found this curtain at Anthropologie...pretty, love the ruffles...but $98 is way to much for me to spend on a shower curtain.

Then I found this one online at Target! It was only $29.99, with free shipping to boot! It had great customer reviews. I should have stopped there and called it good. But I kept looking.

And I found this one. It was on sale for $23. I like the flowers, and I think the blues might be perfect for the wall color I have chosen...but its a pattern. Ugh. But its on sale! What if it just looks perfect? This is my shower curtain dilemma. There was only one solution...

Buy them both, hang them, and return the one that doesn't work. I wonder which one it will be...

I know, its ridiculous. This is only the first room I am working on. I'm going to have to buy some Tylenol pm when I pick up those towel hooks...or bars...

and it never stops.

distracted...in a good way

Please forgive me. I haven't got my give away items together yet. I woke up this morning, and I have spent the entire day on this:

Remember bathroom #1? It looks like I have a long way to go, but really a lot of progress has been made. It took me FOREVER to pull down the wallpaper. I couldn't paint over it because it had raised along the edges, probably from years in a bathroom (shower/bath steam). The only other experience I have with wall paper was in my little 1920's cottage...three layers of wall paper in the kitchen. I managed to remove it all, down to the lathe and plaster. In this 1970's home, its a much different story. There was one layer of wall paper, and underneath there were strips of this off white paper...not the glue backing. I don't know if this was used to cover the sheetrock at that time or what. But there wasn't any behind the mirror, so I had to mud along the edges. Its really weird...

I basically only have painting and decorating to go...oh, and hanging a light fixture. But that's no big deal.

Ladies- don't be afraid to take on home projects. I know it can be really intimidating. Even single moms can be "do it yourself'ers"! My best advice: buy a couple of really good home improvement books, and never be afraid to ask questions. I have asked some crazy questions of the poor guys at Lowes/Home Depot. But they always help, and I always learn.

I can't wait to finish this room!!! Next its the girls' rooms, and they will be so much more fun!!!

Okay, I will get the give away together soon- I promise.