Wednesday, June 25, 2008

plans; God's comedy central

Charlie has a cold. Poor baby, her nose is stuffy and sometimes she just looks at me with that, "make it better mom" look. My wedding dress sold, which is a good thing...I suppose.

Yesterday I decided that I needed to get focused. I need to get organized. I need to just get back on track. In an effort to do so, I decided to buy a new planner. I am not ready for all that blackberry stuff. My life has always ran so much smoother from a planner. (and yep, I'm a list person too.) The planner I have I hadn't cracked open in quite some time, it is full of wedding stuff and wedding to do's. Ugh. So with this new leaf, I was in search of a new planner and a new journal. I went to dinner with Emily and we headed to our city's brand new Barnes and Noble. I searched through the fiction, the cooking section, self-help, Christianity, then thought I would head on over to the planner/journal section. Wouldn't you guess what section is right there, snuggling up to the very section I was after? WEDDING PLANNING. Are you kidding me?!?! SERIOUSLY?!?! And all those wretched books were just sitting there, mocking me...in their pretty pastel colors and such. I couldn't help but laugh back at them. Then I thought about ripping them all off the shelves. Then I saw her. This sweet, petite, dewy eyed little lovely lady. She was totally after the wedding planning section. She couldn't help but smile while she browsed. I figured it would be best for her if I left them there, in their order, on the shelves. I made it out of the store with my new planner, new journal, and a cookbook. All the while telling myself, "I am not bitter. I am not bitter. I am not bitter..."

It was late when I got home. I didn't go to sleep. Oh no. I popped open my laptop and my new leaf, new life planner. And I started filling it with all the "single girl" things I was going to do- concerts, poker, girls nights, dance lessons (although I am going to have to find a crazy, willing boy to dance with), picnics with my little girlies. The sting of the wretched wedding planners was fading as I realized that I have a very full, lovely life. I have so many things to look forward to. There is a split lip rayfield concert, fourth of july at the lake, walnut valley bluegrass festival, a good friend's wedding that I have the honor of photographing, a visit to Oregon to learn from this lovely photographer, and finally...the beginning of the fall semester. While I am completely excited about all that I have to write down in my planner, I am equally excited about what will happen on the blank days. What will happen that I haven't planned? What is God planning as He laughs at my dire need for a planner in the first place? Isn't that the saying..."We plan, God laughs."

The planner brings me comfort, it gives me a sense of order. The journal is for all the things I wish I could share on here but would be better to keep private. The cookbook is so that I can get cracking on all those things I can't wait to make...remember this?

Tonight is poker night. That's what new leaf, non-wedding planner has to say. Here's to all the great things that God has in store, planned and unplanned.

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